GOAL gets the measure of the latest kit and boot drops, a renewed rivalry and the Chelsea man's latest moment of jaw-dropping audacity
Welcome to the Culture & Clobber Axis, where GOAL runs the rule over the latest goings-on at the intersection of football and culture – from the sublime to the ridiculous, the beautiful to the hideous, what's very hot and what's definitely not.
There's been a frenzy of kit releases, boot drops and new merch as Christmas approaches, while old feuds have been reignited and one man singlehandedly caused a marketing crisis for his boot supplier.
But where do the biggest talking points from the football zeitgeist place in our comprehensive axis? Let's take a look…
GettyPalmer's cold Panenka
There's nobody calmer than Cole Palmer. With the chance to wrap up another chaotic Chelsea victory over Tottenham in their own back yard on December 8, the 22-year-old baller embodied his 'cold' nickname and nonchalantly clipped a Panenka penalty over giant Fraser Forster to make it 4-2.
Such was the deftness of his technique, the goalkeeper was already back on his feet before the ball rippled the back of the net. All you can really do is laugh at Palmer's exploits at this stage. Brrrr *does 'cold' celebration at desk*.
GOAL's shout: Maverick worldie
AdvertisementAnother Arsenal x adidas Originals collab
Now, there's nothing wrong with Arsenal's latest streetwear collaboration with adidas, per se, but the old saying 'quality over quantity' does come to mind after the latest drop in a ridiculously prolific partnership.
Arsenal fans will almost certainly disagree in a very, very angry way, but the new Arsenal x adidas Originals 'VRCT' (varsity) collection – including a American college-inspired jacket, hoodie and t-shirt – feels a little forced in the build-up to Christmas. Just a couple of months on from the very cool Aries collab, the club isn't escaping the accusations of being more of a fashion brand than a football team anytime soon.
GOAL's shout: Blatant own goal
Getty/InstagramCucurella humiliates himself & PUMA
Both Marc Cucurella and PUMA had a stinker last week. The defender blamed two calamitous early slips – which led directly to Tottenham goals and left him marooned on the deck in a bundle of curly brown hair – on his brand-spanking-new Future 8 boots. In a moment of pure Barclays, the Spaniard gesticulated to the kitman and changed his footwear on the sidelines, before posting a later-deleted photo of them in the dressing room bin on Instagram after the match.
The whole debacle has inevitably caused a massive marketing headache for PUMA over the £220 boots in the lead-up to the festive period, after what has apparently been a challenging period for the German sportswear giant. Marc will probably be off their Christmas card list.
GOAL's shout: Maverick own goal
adidasA new-look adidas COPA
One for only the most cultured midfielders out there, adidas have given us a glimpse of their new-look COPA line for 2025, and they are lovely.
In a throwback to the classic AdiPure silhouette from the late noughties, the COPA Luxe Control sees three stripes reintroduced to the instep and the boot is "designed to feel so comfortable, it’s like an extension of the player’s body". adidas have gone bold with the colourway, with the first instalment of this new iteration arriving in white and gold. Extremely classy.
GOAL's shout: Blatant worldie
